Emotional Rollercoaster

Goodness...what a week !!! I kissed a man other than Rick (yep only # 2 !)...it was exciting , scary, and good...a different good. I wouldn't say we made a 'love connection' but I wouldn't say we didn't either. You say 'What ?' and I say that too. I am conflicted. And I am crazy-tired...definitely sleep deprived this week. Emotional roller coaster doesn't even begin to describe what I've been feeling...like a teenager! Oh and I lost 8 pounds. Amazing what 'love' can do for ya'. I'm looking forward to continuing this journey to find love. I want a man in my life. I need a man in my life.

Time Marches On

It's hard to believe Rick has been gone for almost a year...time stands still for no one. I have adjusted to my life alone...can't say that I like it but I'm doing alright. Rick was such a huge part of my life so it's only natural that I miss him terribly. He is the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing I think about every night. And I talk to him everyday while I swim in our pool. We had such fun in that pool ! My sisters check on me regularly which I found so odd at first but they realized I had never been without Rick from the time I was 14 years old. They did not know if I could make it without him !! (Yes I can ! ) I haven't drowned yet Karen but thanks for worrying enough for the both of us. heheheh. My friend Jan has become my new movie-eating out buddy. She, more than most, knew what Rick and I had was very special. I appreciate her friendship more than ever. Teresa and Mom have tried to include me in some of their fun outings which has helped too. Before...Rick and I did everything together. I don't plan on spending the rest of my life alone. I like having a man around. I want to travel. I want that 'best friend' again...someone who won't judge you and who you can just be yourself around. I have found a handyman who has done anything I've asked of him for a reasonable fee. I think everyone comes into your life for a reason. My 2 little grandsons are precious and bring me great joy. But with that joy comes a sadness that Rick can't be here to watch them grow up and teach them so much. They won't remember their Grandpa Rick...they were only 1 yr. and 2 wk. old when he died. And now Kim is pregnant with her second child whom Rick will never get to hold. We got cheated out of so much !! But we also had an amazing life together and for that I am thankful. Very thankful. Oh how I loved that man !