I need a man...??

I find myself looking at men like I never have. I'm even checking out the mowing guys...sad but true. I wasn't meant to be alone. Rick was my absolute best friend as I think any spouse should be. I need that 'significant other' to do everything with....makes living so much more fun...in short, it makes life worth living. Today, while delivering mail, a guy smiled at me. Of course I smiled back. I thought about him for a few minutes after that...he was a cutie...middle-aged with short gray hair...Does this mean that I am ready for someone new ?? I don't think so...not yet but I think it means I just really miss what Rick and I shared...and maybe I am realizing that I could have that again in the future. I still think about Rick all the time...he was my world and I could not have loved him more ! I still can't tell someone about him without tears streaming down my face. A man came to the door tonight selling meat from his truck. He was very friendly but I told him my husband had 'just died' and I had a freezer full of meat. And then I started crying...and so did he. He gave me 2 big 'real' hugs which I needed. Life can be so hard but people like that man help people like me. I can't say that I'm 'living' yet but I'm getting by as best I can. And that's all I can do. :-(

Time to get things done

Well..it's been 9 months since my wonderful husband Rick died. I am still so sad but I've got to move on. My house is a cluttered mess...I'm definitely going to be working on that. Plus, I have gained weight...about 10 pounds since Rick died. As of today I am starting a 'eat healthy' diet. I hope to lose 100 pounds and rediscover myself.